Desperate to escape or desperate for God?

Some questions have been running through my brain lately regarding salvation.  "Salvation" is a key word in the Christian faith, but what does it actually mean?

Are we saved FROM something or FOR someone?

If there we no threat of hell, would that change God's love for us or how we feel about Him?

If the goodness of God leads to repentance, then why do we so often try to "scare the Hell out of people"....literally!?

Do I need the threat of Hell to be truly sorry for the selfishness inside me?

If I trust Christ, to escape Hell, am I really sincerely trusting Christ or am I just afraid of going to Hell?

If we get to Heaven and find out that there's no Hell (and never was), will we feel cheated?

If we get to Heaven and every human being that ever lived is there, will we be disappointed?

Are we so desperate to escape Hell, that it doesn't really matter to us if we spend eternity with God or not, as long as we don't spend eternity in fiery torment?

Does Hell matter at all?

Some of what has prompted these questions is my thinking on who God really is.  If God is Love (and I know He is) and the Creator of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega, the Great Physician, Wonderful, Counselor, Prince of Peace....then isn't being His MORE than enough?  Isn't spending eternity with Him, starting today, the gift of ALL gifts?   How does the fear of Hell fit into that equation?  Does truly KNOWING this wonderful God of ours make His absence Hell?  If I love God with all my heart and soul and strength, then isn't His absence, isn't an eternity without Him more of a horror than literally burning forever?

If our greatest love is supposed to be God, then how can our greatest fear be our own suffering?  If I lost my husband tomorrow, I would grieve for his presence, his touch, his smell, his voice, his kisses, his laugh, his words.  I wouldn't grieve for the fact that I don't have his income, or that my standard of living just took a hit, or that maybe I don't get to live in the same home I've grown accustomed to.  My fear of losing him comes from my love for his presence.

If anyone out there has any thoughts on these questions (or questions of your own), I'd love to hear them.  I find that I've find God more in my questions than I do in MY answers......

Why did God set the price so high?

I've heard all kinds of theories on why Jesus died for us.  Because He is so holy that only the holiest of sacrifices would be acceptable.  Because perfect blood is the only acceptable sacrifice for our sins.  I've even heard a pastor remark that the only thing greater than God's love is His justice.  A remark that I have come to vehemently disagree with.

But the fact remains that God is under no one's authority.  He answers to no one.  There is no force in the universe that sets rules for Him to follow.  So the fact that a perfect sacrifice was required to pay for our sins, was completely HIS doing and HIS decision.

I have always wondered, then WHY did He create a demand that only HE could fill?  And the only conclusion I can ever come up with is to show us how much He loves us.  And that, for me, changes everything.  He's holding no grudges toward me or you.  He set the rules, he took the punishment and he planned it that way.  We are the object of his love.  And when I think about what He put Himself through, so that I could GET how much He loves me, well, it colors my life in a completely different palette.

He didn't HAVE to set the price so high.   At the cost of Himself, humiliation, pain and intense suffering. He could have just given us a set of rules to follow or hoops to jump through.   But the fact that He DID set a cost and then pay it, tells me that He wants me to KNOW beyond a doubt, that I am more than His creation.  I'm His truly beloved child.   I can only love Him because He loved me first.  And weren't we created to love and be loved?

What if I'm wrong OR And Unwasted Life

Everybody has doubts.  Even the most steadfast believers have doubts.  I almost distrust people who are unequivocally certain (about ANYTHING).   But for me, the doubts don't come about wondering about whether I'll get to Heaven. If the Bible is correct, I'm forgiven; and my ticket to Heaven doesn't hinge on how good I can be.  Because if that's the case, I'm done!

No, my doubts are much broader than that.  Every now and then it will cross my mind, "What if I'm wrong about the whole thing?"  What if my "religion" is wrong?  What if Jesus was fiction?  What if what I believe isn't the right way?  What if there is no "right way"?  What if everyone is right in their own way?  What if there's no hell?  Heck, what if there's no heaven?  What if all that I've clung to as a believer is pure imagination?

Muslims completely believe in their theology.  Buddhists sincerely follow the teachings of the man who inspired that belief system.  Hindus hold so firmly to their belief that they form their diet around it.  Jews KNOW that the messiah hasn't come.  They really don't seem confused about this.   Atheists, being pretty religious about what they believe, look at all of us who hold to  anything other than science as foolish and weak.  All these other "believers" are just as committed to the tenets of their faith as I am to mine.

Even among Christians, there are so many different takes on our God and how we are to follow Him.  Believers in Christ often have extremely opposed view points.  Theologians, who have devoted their entire lives to studying God's word, often disagree so acutely that it's hard to believe they were reading the same book!    But where everyone seems to completely agree, is the individual notion that their way is right and everyone else has been duped.

Sometimes I'm struck by this arrogance, MY arrogance.   What makes me so sure I'm right and everyone else is wrong?  What makes my faith in Christ any more precious than those who worship Allah or Buddha?  I'm so quick to see them as believing a lie, buy why can't it be me that's believed a lie?

These doubts can be dizzying, and so I try to steady my brain by asking myself, "Okay, so let's say you're wrong, Serene.  Then, at the end of the day, did your wrong cause hurt to others?"   Seriously,  did my being wrong about my beliefs cause pain to others? Make them feel judged?  Unloved?  Stupid?

If believing that my Creator loves me so much that He took human form to sacrifice Himself for me so that I could hopefully GET how much He loves me; makes me love others, then have I believed badly?  If understanding that Christ's love for me frees me from looking to every other unsatisfying thing on this planet for love and acceptance, in turn, makes me want to love others, then is that an awful thing?  If feeling accepted and cherished by God makes me want to accept and cherish others, then even if I turn out to be wrong; will my life have been wasted?  If God's patience with me causes me to be patient with others, did that patience hurt anyone?  Because I really believe that to die to myself, my wants, my desires and treasure God's love for his creation, is that making me hurtful?  I truly believe that every time I do something foolish, say something hurtful, look the other way at a need I can fill, God forgives me and reminds me He loves me. And because of the faith I have in this, it prompts me to be a little kinder, a little more understanding and hopefully more forgiving when I see those same human faults play out in the lives of others, whether they are "Christians" or not.

If what I believe in my heart is a lie, but that belief brought love, joy, kindness, acceptance, generosity and forgiveness to my life and the lives of people around me, then what harm has come from it?    The only harm that could come would be if I elevated the DESIRE to be RIGHT over being loving.  When I'm so fixated on convincing others that my way is right, then it's easy to forget that, if my way really is right, then I can trust my sweet God to show them.  And all I need to do is love.

If my life is spent loving because of my belief that God loves me and ALL His creation, then what does it matter if I'm wrong.  Yes, this is what I believe.  And yes, there are doubts.  But I've come to the conclusion, "So what?".    It's kind of hard to consider a life spent loving a wasted life.  So if  reincarnation is true and I come back as a turtle, I'll just be one happy (hopefully loving!) turtle!

The biggest candy bar from God ever!

I came across this post in a round about way.  While listing items on eBay this morning, I listened to the sermon by Dr. Rosenbladt and was in tears half way through.  I wanted to scream and yell, "YES!  THAT'S something to get excited about!!  Unbridled, Unconditional, Unrestrained LOVE!  THAT'S how God loves us!"

And while the sermon was incredible, the comments were pretty incredible as well!  In an answer to one commenters fear of "drowning in grace" (what better way to go?!?!)

"If anything we are far from being ‘immersed in the law’ today, and are drowning in the grace message. You can’t have one without the other, and a quick look at the times around us and I think our time would be better spent exposing the cheap grace message and what the evidence is of a truly saved person."

Commenter Ted wrote

kate, let me ask you this. When was the last time you cried yourself to sleep at night because you feared for your eternal soul that you did not believe nearly enough to be saved? Or that your third baptism didn’t take and you may need a fourth? Or that your seventh time at the altar call might not have been enough because you continue to see sin in your life and you don’t desire Jesus enough, because if you did your sinful behavior would change?

After studying, praying, consulting with pastors and teachers and reading essays and books, and no matter what you do or how much you study and try to “come to Jesus”, you continue to live in sin and just fail, fail, fail. So you lie in bed at 3:00am in the morning, curled up in a fetal position, shaking and weeping in the most horrific terror, certain that you are hell-bound no matter how much you try to reach out to Christ because you just can’t “get it right”?

That's it!  The frustration!  The fear!  The rules!  The righteous mask.

I came away from this wondering if those who would consider themselves "fallen away" have really fallen away from their initial belief that it's Christ alone who saves them for Himself OR are they fallen away from the constant demands for "holy living", for "separation".  Demands made by fellow believers that they tow a certain line.

Commenter Ted finished up with

"I would recommend you spend less time evaluating other people’s faith and joyfully go about your daily vocation in the knowledge that not only was Christ’s blood sufficient to cover the sins of the despairing people I just described, but also yours as well. I just hope that proper teaching and preaching of the sufficiency of Jesus’ sacrifice and resurrection finally reach these poor folks’ ears before they walk away from the faith entirely." 

Nothing left to add to that!

 

Proud to be Modest?

Among fashion bloggers, there are numerous subsets.  There are the vintage lovers, the retro pinup set, the high fashion high dollar bloggers.  And there's also a set of modesty bloggers, showcasing their love of fashion married to their religious conviction on modesty in dress.  I've even come across several Muslim bloggers who highlight their fashion while adhering to strict "hijab" rules of dress.  (I hope I've said that correctly.  My intent is not to offend.)  

Elaine, a modest fashion blogger of Clothed Much posted this article from Jezebel on Twitter.  Apparently there is a website that asks the question, "Is this modest?" and then proceeds to answer said question.  This is how Jezebel describes the site.

"Is This Modest" is a website that claims to promote an open and practical dialog about modesty, but it's actually a male-gazey compendium of creepshots of high schoolers and misogynist rants about too-tight t-shirts. Is it possible to have a sane discussion about modesty? Not if modesty means, as it does on this site, that it's a woman's responsibility to prevent men from thinking impure thoughts. 

I tried to check it out for myself, but the site is now displaying a "under construction" sign.  But it does get me thinking about the modesty discussion and the thing I keep coming back to is that modesty is an attitude.  An attitude that is expressed in our demeanor, dress, conversation, etc....  So it seems paradoxical to take pride in one's modesty.  

There's a verse in the New Testament that seems to be on repeat in my head.

and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, 12so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. (1 Thess. 4:  11-12)

 Mind my own affairs.   Wow!  That's not something I've spent a lot of my opinionated life doing.  But this is what plays in my head when I find my thoughts ever focused on what SOMEONE ELSE is doing.  Tending to myself and my own issues and trying to HELP not FIX someone else is more than a full time job.

I get it.  Both sides think that they are helping.  Modesty proponents believe that they are helping women to stop relying on their sexual attributes.  They also, I'm sure, believe that they are helping men, because, Hey, if women would just stay covered, men wouldn't have sexual thoughts about them!  (There is just soooooo much wrong with this theory!)  Those who decry such modesty based websites as misogynistic, believe that they are liberating women from being viewed as sex objects.  Often overlooking, however, how even the most feminist of feminists will jump at the chance to be portrayed as lust worthy.

Look, we're all flawed.  We ALL need help.  But that help is never going to come by finger pointing, judging and ostracizing one another in the name of a self proclaimed mission.  Both sides offer valid view points, but at the end of the day, it's our OWN selves we are responsible for.

An act of kindness and a tolling bell......

I just read this today and THIS is what it's all about!

An NYPD officer bought a shoeless homeless man a pair of shoes.

On Nov. 14, NYPD officer Lawrence DePrimo, who was on counterterrorism duty in Times Square, saw the older homeless man without shoes sitting on 42nd Street. DePrimo, 25, left and then returned with a pair of $100 boots he bought at a nearby Skechers store.

"It was freezing out, and you could see the blisters on the man's feet," DePrimo, a three-year veteran of the department who lives with his parents on Long Island, told the New York Times. "I had two pairs of socks, and I was still cold."

I want this to be second nature to me, because this is EXACTLY what Jesus has done and does for us.  He sees our need.  He fills it....exceeds it.....overflows it!  Because His love is unconditional.  We are His!

Unmet needs diminish us.  John Donne put it best....

PERCHANCE he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill as that he knows not it tolls for him.  And perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that.  The church is catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does, belongs to all.  When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is thereby connected to that head which is my head too, and ingraffed into that body, whereof I am a member.  And when she buries a man, that action concerns me; all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again, for that library where every book shall lie open to one another; as therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come; so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness. 

And those most famous words...

No man is an island,  entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were;  any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.  

The bell is tolling for me!

~A Charming Life

While watching the season 4 finale of Sons of Anarchy, the show started with a song that immediately enchanted me.  Juxtaposed against Sons' ominous setting of lies, murder, mayhem and dark alliances, this sweetness of this song overflows.

I downloaded it, and LOVE listening to it over and over.  It reminds me that I have a most charming life.  In fact, all things considered, I think we all do.  We are "so loved" by our Creator.  What's more charming than that?  Take a listen and a read:




This Charming Life by Joan Armatrading

I wanna be with you all the timeEvery dayEvery nightYou're my deja vu
It's sounds obsessiveBut I think it's fineWhen you're gone all I do is to think of you
I live and love with youThis charming life
I live and love with youThis charming life
You know you came into the room aloneBut when you leftThen I found that you took my heartIt sounds so corny yes I know it doesBut truth is the shade that I choose to wear
I live and love with youThis charming lifeI live and love with youThis charming life
Every government must pass down a lawThat says the sun has to always shineThat everybody gets the chance to say
I live and love with youThis charming lifeI live and love with youThis charming life
Every morning when I open my eyesYou're the first thing that I seeLady luck she really took to me
BecauseI live and love with youThis charming life I live and love with youThis charming life